I don’t know about you, but when you have been with your partner for quite some time, conversation topics can get quite repetitive and not all that exciting. It is the same topics over and over, the house, the kids, work, finances; there is little room for creativity. It is like being stuck in a conversation hamster wheel.
Starting a joint hobby and learning a new skill together has been fantastic for our relationship.
We dedicate half a day a week to time for ourselves, at that time we are kid-free and even manage to fit in a quick lunch date at the end of our lesson most weekends. It is time when we are mindful to our practice and not the stress and worries of everyday life. We relax, we focus on learning, on practising and, sometimes in my case, just drinking tea and talking to other pottery students. It is a complete winddown that we thoroughly look forward to each week.
We now have a joint passion which is, in turn, a fun topic of discussion. We talk about what skills we would like to learn next, what pieces we are thinking of making, we read ceramic magazines and talk about what inspiration we take from a feature article, we talk about something that makes both of us happy and stress-free. We do spend a lot of time saying, “I wonder what that piece is going to look like when it comes out of the glaze firing”.
When we potter together, we have naturally progressed to complimenting each other with our skills. Graham is a talented thrower, much better than I am, and he really enjoys it. He doesn’t quite like trimming so much, whereas I have learnt to love trimming. We discuss decoration and glazing together to determine what the final piece may look like. This way, we can focus on the part that we enjoy, and we always end up with a piece that has been created together from start to finish.
Graham has a way of making me feel loved by making pieces specifically with me in mind. For example, if I am going through a fluting phase, he will make me thick-walled pots, and if I am going through a carving phase, he will make me large pots with decent walls that I can carve.
Pottery has strengthened our relationship; we are not just ‘Graham and Sarah’, or ‘Mum and Dad’.
We are two best friends being creative together.
If you feel like your relationship could do with a little bump, pottery might be the thing for you too.
P.S.: I do introduce us to new class members as husband and wife, it helps explain why we are so familiar with each other and why sometimes I tell Graham that his piece is rubbish, as I know he can do better, but it comes from a place of love.
